Speak Up Against Antisemitism
On the 84th Anniversary of Kristallnacht, Nov. 9, 2022 …
Phyllis Zimbler Miller — co-host of the NEVER AGAIN IS NOW podcast — organized for the Los Angeles synagogue that she attends the following event:
An Informal Discussion of What to Say to an Antisemitic Statement
Has anyone said something antisemitic to you and you’ve frozen – your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth? And afterwards you’ve thought of several non-threatening things you could have said — and wished you’d said? Things that might have made for a teachable moment?
At this informal event a few people came together in person and via Zoom for a discussion to work together to create calm and educational replies to such antisemitic comments.
And we only discussed antisemitic comments of long-standing tropes including money and media control. We would need a second session to discuss antisemitic comments couched in anti-Zionist language.
During our informal discussion we learned from each other and came up with possible responses in different scenarios.
Now we want to encourage other small groups to get together for their own discussions.
Feedback from November 9th pilot program participants:
I really felt that last night’s small group discussion helped me clarify my OWN thoughts as to how to view antisemitic tropes that are popular in social media like control of the media, the banks, the movie industry.
In our small, intimate and self-searching group discussion, I clarified for myself that Jews happen to be leaders in certain fields and happen to populate certain fields more than others.
Just this simple change of wording from “control” to “leadership in” helped me formulate some ideas of how to portray what some antisemitic people and Jewish lovers both feel is an over-representative role (vis a vis our national/international demographic) in certain fields.
I also learned that speaking from the heart with an empathetic tone may also be a good way to approach a person who repeats an antisemitic trope.
I would love to attend more discussions and look deeper into the different mindsets of people spewing some of these remarks, understand what is behind their thoughts, and when to engage or not engage.
More people should participate and have their own small group discussions.
Susan Chodakiewitz, Founder
Booksicals Children’s Books & Literacy Through the Arts
Antisemitic statements we discussed and role played replies to:
1) The director of an afterschool program conducting a VIP tour of the facilities opens a supply closet and says, “We call this the Anne Frank closet.”
2) A woman at her engagement party, when asked if she is getting an engagement ring, replies that is only for Jewish women who want to show off expensive jewelry.
3) A car park attendant says in Spanish, “The Jews are wealthy and all drive expensive cars.”
One idea we came up with for the first statement: “What do you mean by that?” and not assuming that the speaker knows what happened to Anne Frank and the Holocaust. Perhaps the speaker only knows that a diary was written while Anne Frank was in hiding and doesn’t even know this was in connection with WWII, the Nazis and the Holocaust
Perhaps the second and third statements could first be answered with: “What do you mean by that?”
Of course this requires keeping one’s voice calm and NOT accusatory. Then, depending on the reply, one can go on to hopefully create a teachable moment.
We didn’t come up with the best answer — we did come up with possibilities. And you can too!
Possible responses to other antisemitic comments:
1) A non-Jewish friend said that he didn’t know that a certain Jewish donor was that “rich.”
I explained to my friend that this well-intentioned comment could have antisemitic overtones.
It would be better, I told my friend, to say that he didn’t know the Jewish donor was that “philanthropic.”
2) An acquaintance told me she was struck silent when Asians at a conference said to her that they admired Jews because of their success in making money.
The acquaintance knew that this was based on antisemitic tropes and didn’t know how to reply.
Perhaps a reply could be:
“Yes, many Jews are good at making money as are many other people. There are also many poor Jews. Being good at making money is not a Jewish trait. And while I know you meant this comment as a compliment, I would prefer that in the future you would not attribute this trait – which can have negative meanings – to all Jews.”
3) We often hear that “Jews control the media.”
A friend of mine asked about this statement: Isn’t it true that lots of Jews are in the media?
I explained that “control the media” implies manipulation such as in worldwide conspiracy.
If someone says to you that “Jews control the media,” an answer could be:
“Yes, there are numerous Jews in the media as there are numerous non-Jews. This does not mean that Jews are manipulating the news. Look at Fox News – no Jews at the very top there!”
4) Some people say that all Jews are white.
In actuality, throughout the world Jews come in all different skin tones, some with light skin and some with dark skin and some with skin tones all along this color continuum.
This comment about “all Jews are white” is often used in antisemitic contexts in connection with “white privilege.”
5) Another often-heard refrain: “Jews have white privilege.”
Jews do not have “white privilege” as that expression is currently being used. Although many of the barriers to Jews joining social clubs and living in certain residential areas that existed in my childhood have been lifted, Jews are still seen as “others” in many levels of society.
And at any time, Jews who believe they have been fully accepted into society may be hit by a “casual” antisemitic comment that instantly and “in your face” reminds Jews of their “other” status.
In addition, “white privilege” may imply a certain level of wealth. Again, a response to this assumption is that some Jews are wealthy as are some non-Jews, and many Jews are poor as are many non-Jews. It’s an individual situation and not a group situation.
6) Jews owned slaves in the American South is another taunt leveled at Jews.
Yes, there were Jewish families in the South who had slaves just as there were free people of color who had slaves. (The famous free person of color Marie Laveau of New Orleans in the 19th Century owned slaves.)
7) Someone says to you, “You don’t look Jewish.” With an understanding on your part that the person may erroneously believe this is a compliment, here is one way you might address this:
“I don’t understand what you mean. Jews do not have a specific ‘look.’ Not even a specific skin color as Jews can be light-skinned, dark-skinned, and anything in between. If anything, Jews from certain countries might look similar to non-Jews from those countries. And there is nothing admirable in being told one doesn’t look Jewish.”
Two recommended books with techniques that might help (not affiliate links):
WHEN I SAY NO, I FEEL GUILTY by Manuel Smith
CHANGE YOUR QUESTIONS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE by Marilee G. Adams